Friday, November 8, 2013

Kim Kardashian Is Not a Member of the Illuminati!

Kim Kardashian, Instagram

Dolls, Kim Kardashian is many things. But an Illuminati puppet master? Umm… Let's backtrack a moment. On Wednesday, Nov. 5, Kim wished BFF Brittny Gastineau a happy birthday. In doing so, she Instagrammed a collage featuring pictures of the lifelong pals in the framework of different shapes—including a triangle, and one which looked like an eye. Now cue the conspiracy theorists, because according to urban legend, members of a sinister secret society known as the Illuminati use these shapes to represent Satan and an all-knowing evil eye. Whoa, whoa, whoa. The Illuminati does have its historical roots, tracing back to a group of people in 1776—the Bavarian Illuminati—who wanted to keep religious influences away from public life and discourage superstition. It's unclear whether any practicing descendants from that original sect are in existence today, but there have been secret societies through the years—both real and fictional—who have borrowed the Illuminati name. Some have theorized that the world's most influential people—we're talking Queen Elizabeth II, Justin Bieber, President Barack Obama, Jay Z!—are all members of a Skull and Bones style society that gives them great power and will eventually enable them to take over the world. [Insert best Dr. Evil laugh here.] So when Kim posted not one, but two rumored symbols of this so-called dark league, people began to wonder if she was—brace yourselves!—ushering in some kind of New World Order! Kanye West's fiancée was, understandably, a bit confused by the response to her sweet b-day post for Britt. She addressed the odd backlash on Twitter Thursday, explaining she just "posted a IG collage for my bff @BrittGastineau & people say it's the illuminate!" (Autocorrect is the devil's handmaiden—not Kim.) "What is the illuminate?" she continued. "A religion?...I'm a Christian. [Is this] A cult?...not into that sorry!" The birthday collage had an eye on it, Kim explained, because it reminded her of Britt's "eye on glam" website and of the bracelets she and her sisters wear to ward off "evil eye." Instagram "So sorry guys," she wrote, "it was just a cool design I saw on one of those IG collage apps." Oh, Kim—Bible!—no need to apologize. And in other, um, news, fellow non-Illuminati Khloé Kardashian Odom Instagrammed a super cute throwback Thursday shot of herself, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian. The sweet sisterly shot looks pretty scandal-free—but wait! What's that we see? Khloé's copping a feel of Kim's booty! Uh-oh. Is Kim's butt an Illuminati symbol now, too?

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