MANILA, Philippines -- After coming out as a lesbian, singer Charice said she now feels "free."
"Sobrang masaya, nae-excite ako na hindi ko maintindihan. Basta ang alam ko ay na-feel ko na 'yung freedom na hinahanap ko," she said in an interview on ANC's "Headstart" on Friday.
Charice said that aside from her supporters, her "haters" also helped her have the courage to admit that she is a lesbian.
"Isa pa doon 'yung mga haters na rin. Pinalakas nila ang loob ko at sila 'yung nag-push sa akin na gawin ito," she said. "I owe it to my fans, ayaw ko silang lokohin at masaktan pa. The more niloloko ko sarili ko, the more na niloloko ko sila."
Now comfortable about her sexuality, Charice recalled her first girl crush.
"Kasi noong elementary ako, lagi akong tinutukso ng classmates ko na pogi ako. Ako, tina-try kong i-appreciate [na lang 'yun]. Nagkaroon ako ng in-admire na classmate ko, as in hinatid ko siya sa bahay nila at naligaw ako. So may something. Na-realize ko lang siya when I was ten," she shared, not mentioning her name.
"Noong bata ako, never akong nagka-crush sa guy. Noong bata ako, tinutukso ko lang sarili ko sa mga guys," she added.
Charice said she was initially afraid that her mother, Raquel Pempengco, would find out that she is a lesbian.
"Natakot po ako. Feeling ko nagkaroon na siya ng idea noon, pero hindi lang niya in-entertain. Siguro po, naintindihan ko... so tinago ko po," she said.
First lesbian relationship at 13
Charice, 21, further shared that she was 13 years old when she had her first same-sex relationship.
"May iba akong napagsabihan. Siyempre kumbaga, naisip ko na sasabihin ng ibang tao na yes, it's a sin. Pero alam ko sa sarili ko na ito ako. Sabi ko nga, there's nothing wrong with it, at pananagutan ko sa sarili ko 'yun," she said of the relationship.
"Sinasabi ko naman na hindi ito 'yung desisyon na inisip ko lang kahapon. Ito po ay na-feel ko," she added.
Charice stressed, however, that she also tried entertaining male suitors in the past.
"May nanligaw din sa akin na seryoso, tinry ko [i-entertain] pero never holding hands and everything. Nakipag-hang out pero no, ayokong pilitin ang sarili ko dahil parang niloloko ko sarili ko," she said.
On her new look
In the "Headstart" interview, Charice also explained why she had to change her look.
"Aware po ako na mas bagay sa akin na mahaba ang buhok ko. Pero sa akin kasi, like sa lesbians, iba po kasi, iba-iba ang tawag. May feminine, may butch, ganyan. Doon ako sa butch, hindi po talaga ako feminine. Pero 'yung sinuot ko before, miniskirts, dress, hindi ko naman po pinagsisisihan 'yon, challenge po sa akin 'yon," she explained.
'David Foster, Oprah already knew'
Charice also laughed when she recalled the days when she had to wear heels and dresses for her shows with David Foster.
"Ang hirap mag-heels, mahirap po. Nasanay po ako noon at natatawa ako kasi that time, alam na po 'yon ni Sir David. Minsan ay tinutukso nila ako, nagtutuksuhan kami. Pero showbiz eh, I had to do it. Nakakalagpas lang ako sa ganoong challenges 'pag nakikita ko 'yung suporta akin nila Sir David. At kahit ganoon, lagi nilang sinasabi sa akin na proud sila sa akin," she said.
Asked if she sometimes misses her long hair and feminine look, Charice said: "Sa totoo lang, hindi."
Aside from Foster, television host Oprah, who is her godmother, also knows that she is a lesbian.
"I want to thank her for tweeting a fan back. Kasi tinatanong siya ng isang fan, sabi 'do you remember Charice?' Sinagot niya with a very simple 'yes' and the hashtag #freedom. 'Yun na 'yon," she said.
The singer said she is happy that people are accepting her new style and music.
While she is still open to doing ballads, Charice said she now prefers to sing pop and RnB, citing artists like Beyonce, Rihanna, Justin Timberlake and Chris Brown.
"Sa lumalabas pong news abroad, so far po papunta sa positive. Natutuwa ako na minahal nila ang talent ko. I feel very blessed na makita 'yung mga 'yon," she said.
To those who say that she cannot sing anymore, Charice said: "Basta po, mahala na mahal ko po ang pagkanta at hindi pwede na magigising lang ako na ayaw ko na."
The singer added that she is planning to do a new album in the country.
Courage to come out
Meanwhile, Charice hopes that today's youth will have enough courage to come out, as she did a few days ago.
"Sa akin, hindi naman po kailangan na maging inspirasyon nila ako dahil I came out. Kung may kukunin sila sa pagka-come out ko, gusto ko lang 'yung lakas ng loob. Dahil sa akin, sobrang risky ng ginawa ko, kasi it's either tatanggapin ako, o wala na talaga.
"'Yun ang gusto kong makita sa akin ng mga kabataan, 'yung lakas ng loob, hindi lang sa sitwasyon ko ngayon, kung hindi sa lahat ng challenges na darating sa buhay nila. Dahil hindi mo magagawa ang isang bagay kung wala kang lakas ng loob."
